She's Back....

4 more days to the war.... It's real short.... This was declared long ago.... But I only read the decree like last week.... I am sharpening my blades... I am polishing my armour.... I am preparing for war....

It will be over really soon.... But whether I will win or not is another thing...

It's coming really close... I am in the mood to study like last year's eoy... That was how I managed to get into this class.... That last minute effort.... I should do the same... I will do the same.... If I can do it once, why not again???

The miracle that happened last year.... The result I got was astonishing.... Maybe not in that way.... But I should say a deserving result..... I din study for terms 1,2 and 3 last year.... Only the last one.... And I pulled it off.... This year is almost the same... It's deja vu....

I am going to start now.... Darrell says 80 plus chapters..... I have done like probably 25..... Still a long way to go.... But just like last time, I will be planning my strategy.... What to do and how to do....

_____________________________________________

The sense of loneliness have struck me again.... That's why I have hit the books..... I think what I really need to appreciate is the people close to me.... Not the people I want to be with....

All those words..... All those 'fake' comforting words..... It's all forgotten.....

Maybe I read too much into it.... Or care too much about it..... MAybe I am just looking for attention????

"The best way not to be disappointed with a person is not to have any expectation of him"

That makes real lot of sense.... I think I am too kind hearted.... I relent easily.... After a few minutes the anger is gone..... Am I too nice till I am taken for granted???? Or maybe I was always a tool for you???

I forgive and forget.... Then you always have to remind me..... You always have to put me down.... You always have to be you..... Words of everyone does prick me in the heart... I may shrug it off.... But you people should know the feeling yourself.... You know how difficult it is to pretend nothing happen????

Ask Darrell... The fact that I am more observant that normal people, I do take notice of small actions.... Your words may not say it.... But my eyes can see it.... Your body betrays you.... Your eyes fail you....

I dislike people that repeat what I say against me.... It's mockery... Sarcasm...

Words are taken too lightly...
Promises are forgotten easily....

You tell me you can be....
I thought you meant it for me....

I guess you said it...
And you are doing it....
I cant feel it....
Do you know what IT is????

~~

Ultimate lameness..........

Exams are round the corner... Happy and sad at the same time... Happy that it only last for six days..... Yay!!!!!! After that play ah!!!!!! Sad cause after this exams, there will be no more MRs or CAs or SAs.... Have to face reality.... It's going to be the prelims already.... In like less than 5 months... Ya, time sure pass very fast.... It's been 3 years since I I started taking the bus to school myself and enjoying the scenery....

Will forever remember this girl that will most of the time sit beside me when I was sec1... I will always be listening to music and staring out at blank spaces.... Guess I will not forget her cause I still do see her once in a while.... Haha.... Always sit beside me.... LAST TIME....

These few days and the next few will be spend on studying.... To clarify, I DONT MUG... I only study.... Dont associate that word with me.... Cause I dont do that.... And I will not do that.... I guesss.......

Darrell say I very lame.... But I say is funny.... Actually, no fdifference.... You still laugh Darrell..... Here's one LAME one:

Why does a rhino have horns????











Because it is HORNY........


Bunch of SICKOSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!
Hahahaha.... Ya right....




This is the answer.... Trust me....
















It's because without horns, it would not be called a RHINO!!!!!

Frahahahahaha.... Ok.... I know.... Lame right????? Just proving my point.... Lol...

Really wish could go back to the old days where I started taking bus.... Ya, the important part is the girl sitting beside me ok.......... I dont say you all will still insist.... Save me the trouble of saying no.... Then you all wont ask me anymore.... SMART RIGHT????? Hahaha.... Last time exams no need study so hard, now so tiring.....

"The secret of having a personal life is not answering too many questions about it."

Makes perfect sense right???? Hahaha... Quote to my old days paragraph.... I WILLL NOT answer your questions...... Lalalalalala.....

Maybe I will la.... Should I???? Or should I not??? Maybe can la.... But then again, maybe not... OK la, answer your questions lor.... Wait, I think no is better.... Aiya, Just tell you.... But no again... It's my secret.... Ok la, I give up... Tell you all la.... On second thoughts, dont want already.... I guess in the end I still will.... Will I??? I dont know la.... You ask then I see how.... Haizzzzzzzz....

PS:I love the above paragraph...(Ultimate lameness....)

("-_-")

Life...

Why prove to a man he is wrong? Is that going to make him like you? Why not let him save face? He didn't ask for your opinion. He didn't want it. Why argue with him? You can't win an argument, because if you lose, you lose it;and if you win it, you lose it. Why? You will feel fine. But what about him? You have made him feel inferior, you hurt his pride, insult his intelligence, his judgment, and his self-respect, and he'll resent your triumph. That will make him strike back, but it will never make him want to change his mind. A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still.



"Forgive and forget"

"Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future."

"When you forgive, you in no way change the past - but you sure do change the future."


If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain.


"Make your life a mission - not an intermission."


"In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years."


"A man without decision of character can never be said to belong to himself. He belongs to whatever can make captive of him."

~~

Assumptions...

If only we could live by assumptions,
wouldn't life be that great??


But assumptions are made to make
the senseless things make sense...


So to live a life full of assumptions
is to live a senseless life
or even a nonsensical one....


___________________________________



Some things happen because it is fated to happen
But dont ask me to do something when
I am already in the process of doing it


"Eyes lie if you ever look into them for the character of the person."


"To really understand a person is to know how he feels
not from his eyes or expression
but from his heart"



I dont know what's wrong with those people but I will ignore it for

"Peace of mind comes from not wanting to change others."

~~

Quotable 3...

"Talent hits a target no one else can hit; genius hits a target no one else can see"



"You change your life by changing your heart"



"Life is not a static thing. The only people who do not change their minds are incompetents in asylums, who can't are those in cemeteries."



I read and walked for miles at night along the beach,
writing bad blank verse
and searching endlessly for someone wonderful
who would step out of the darkness
and change my life.
Before it crossed my mind that
that person could be me.

~~

Day Dreaming....

Darrell and I both were day dreaming.... Same subject but different setting...

"It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else."

We shared the details of our day dream, though not specifically....(Gosh, I am laughing now... Darrell's dream.... Tahaa...)

"Learn from your dreams what you lack."

This is so true.... Do you people realise that we dream of what we want that we dont possess???

"All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them."


That applies to me so much

~~

Quotable 1...

"I'll let you be in my dreams if I can be in yours."



"Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood.
Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less."

~~

Comparison...

I probably look like the typical guy-next-door to you. Some super nice guy who loves everything about the world.... No hatred for anything in the world.... Only love... So here's one thing more for you to know about me...

I hate comparisons.... Especially when I am included in it.... I hate it when people compare me with someone else.

"Listening to other's opinion and changing to make them like you,
is to become what others want you to be."

"To truly live your own life is to become what you want to be,
not what others want you to be"

We are always affected by what others say about us... They criticise and condemn us for our certain actions.... We get upset by it... For example, they say a good captain must be a good leader.... He must lead by example.... A leader needs to speak, he commands people.... But the people grumble, saying that the leader does nothing but commands people...

A normal human being will be affected by it.... A normal reaction will be anger... That's how we feel when we hear criticism about ourselves.... Then, the next thought that comes to mind will be that "what should I do so that they will like me as their leader???" At this instance, the leader is trying to become a leader that people want, not a true leader that people look up to....

We received criticism sometimes.... This happens when we are compared to someone else... He can do this, why cant you??? He is so blablabla, but you are so blablabla.... If only you were as blablabla as him.... Why are you talking like blablabla??? All these really makes me angry when I hear or see them....

Why must I be like somebody so that you will like me???? I am not that person... Why compare me with him????

"I am who I am,
we are who we are"

Comparisons leads to expectations..... You must be as hardworking as bblabla.... You should be like him, so smart....

I especially hate being compared to anybody.... Even if he is some great person....

Here's the thing.... I am compared to this great guy.... Technically, I should work towards becoming like him and even surpassing him.... So there are two result, either I become like him, or surpass him.... After both of these, what's next??? Find another person and become like him??? This way, I will always be this and that person, but never MYSELF....

Comparing me is like asking me to lead another's person life... To be like that person.... No comparison means a freedom of my own life...

No boundaries.... Self expectations to surpass.... But no pressure..... Ya, I know some of you will say that comparisons are essential.... But I am talking from my personal point of view, not from the subjective point of view....

I hate comparisons..... Dont ask me to be like someone.... Dont ask me to do something like someone..... Dont say I am like someone.... Dont COMPARE me with anyone....

I am what I am
I am who I am
I am not what you want
And I am not who you want me to be
Stop saying I sound like someone
look like someone
talk like someone
or act like someone


BECAUSE
I AM MYSELF, NOT SOMEONE

~~

Reality

You think you have gotten over a person
but when you see her smile
you realise that you are pretending
that you are over her to lessen
the pain of knowing that
she will never be yours


That's reality.....

This came to mind....
While talking to Darrell....

LOLOLOLOLOL

~~

Random.....

I know this is super random.... I think I am damn handsome today with my hair... After having a bath, I looked into the mirror and was like.... Wow, who's this???? I realised I looked damn nice with my current hair..... Suai say.... Dont you all think so too??? Ok, I know..... Thick skinned right???? But this feeling comes not very often so I am expressing my extreme delight for it.... Hahaha.... I want to take a picture cause I know that I wont have this length of hair anytime soon..... Probably cutting it tomorrow.... But I hate taking pictures..... I hardly ever smile in them..... Always that 'want to fight??' face.... LOLOLOL....

Talking about looks, I was discussing with Darrell during lesson about the looks of a girl he would like....

Big eyes, small nose, mouth anything, hair is have fringe combed to one side....(I will leave the buns out to emphasise my point....) Which is equals to......

"Kissing Is Man's Sweetest Expression Of 'Really It's Nothing'"

(*_*) (For Darrell.....)

LOLOLOL.... Random right???? I wonder who is intelligent enough to understand what I am trying to say......

I think I am damn funny.... I think you think I am retarded.... LOLOLOL... I am so happy today so super random.... Happy because I studied..... Wow??? Just super good mood today cause it's saturday....

Just a damn random question.... But I really want you to answer..... Am I good looking???? How much would you rate me out of 10????

I would really really really really want want want your truthful answer........



~Smiles~

Am I???

I was never
I am never
I will never
You walked passed me...
They walked passed me...
You used to be close...
They used to be close...
But not anymore...

Tired these few days... No time to blog also... Not sure why, but seem to almost sleep in class frequently.... 19 more days.... To the finals.... 25 more, to the end.... One more month.... Can I last the final stretch???

I am going to up the tempo... No more games... Relaxation is restricted... Only TV, blog and floorball... Nothing else....

After this post, I am returning to my slumber.... Today was rather boring... Rained in the morning but now is so hot... I rather it not rain.... Double chinese today, I escaped unscathed... I think teachers are taking notice of me now... Form teacher asked me why I was so tired.... Geog teacher ask if I was busy studying that I was tired.... Truth is, I am adjusting to my new found pace... I cant keep up just yet, so my body is slightly struggling.... But I cant slow down.... Too many people not to disappoint....

"I am the result of my own actions"

I am keeping that in mind.... I am what I do.... I want to be quiet and not talk to anyone.... But it feels awful to talk to someone when he does not reply...

You have disappointed me again and again..
They too have done the same...
We are so close yet so far...
This distance is really awkward....
The way people see us to be...
Is not the way we actually are...

If I am just a stepping stone
To what you want to achieve....
I rather just stop now...
You dont really need me....

I know what you are going to say... I know in my heart.... Dont prove me right... Not saying anything also tell me your true intentions... I am half mentallist...

I feel alone.... Tell me truthfully.... Tell me I have done sth that helped you so much that you are indebted.... Tell me I am important to you...

"The truth is always painful, but you just have to accept it and get on with life"

~~

The Truth...

What do you want it for??

Well, quite obviously....

It's ********(I am not stupid to tell you the no... Haha)

I smiled..... Thank you... I said, giving the happiest smile i have ever given.... I was so happy.... It turn out really well....

There were two thoughts running through my mind before that.... If I was rejected, it's ok... At least I wont spend so much time on a person that aint going to happen between us... The other is that it was better for both of us.... Too young anyways....

This success came easier than I thought.... We din talk immediately... It was too awkward.... I kept looking at the number I got.... Then the bus reached her stop.... She went down.... Then I realised.... The number she gave was different from what I had initially.... I pressed the bell but the bus was already moving.... I looked out.... There she was, poking a funny face at me....... I slumped into my seat.... I have been fooled....
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
"It's 645 already. I tot you meeting Darrell for breakfast at 8???"

I immediately jumped out of bed.... Cause I was running late.... And relieved that it all did not really happen......

Sorry people(cheeky tone):P

___________________

I have been doing what No2 has been telling me to do... And man is it tiring... Super lot of things to do... I know it's for my own good... But still..... Too much already... I am physically and mentally drained.... I need energy.........

This holiday... Is not a holiday.... The math homework... Is not homework.... Is more of can you survive.... Seriously give so much....

Express the number of cup of coffee that you want as a column vector....

Uncle, I want square root 25 cups of ice lemon tea....

Pls, will you do this at a coffee shop??? Math really is to test our problem solving skills... But the problems we face now are just a bit of what we are going to face in future, I want to be a baby forever....

My brain is really cracking up.... Solve this solve that.... Why is blabla bla in a straight line.... Oh well, cause it was drawn by a ruler....

Teacher: How's your holidays??
Student: Bad..... Sucks....
Teacher: Oh really, why???

Thats what always happen when school reopens.... The why by the teacher, is a perfect example of a rhetorical question....

1 more day to the end of this holiday.... But then again, is this a holiday??? I haven even play more than 1 day it..... Haizzzzzzzz

_________________

Damn curious... Rate me...

Looks: /10
Cuteness: /10
Intelligence: /10
Humour: /10
How happy you are when you are with me: /10
How much you like to be with me: /10

Be truthful.... I very curious.....

See you soon... Off to get my much needed rest......... My leg still hurts..... I want massage from somebody...... Floorball tomorrow I am so looking forward to it.....



~~

No1 and No2....

Angry as usual.... Over..... The same usual things... Or maybe, it's just to attract attention??? But it keeps happening so frequently nowadays.... So common that I am getting used to it.... To the extent that I dun really care.... But it's important to me.... Really important.... I cannot start not bothering it....

Training today was ok... But after it comes the..... Went training thinking only have 2 coach... Ended up have 3... Was rather simple the training... But ended real seriously injured... Is either a thigh strain or a groin and thigh strain.... It feels like a pull though... Here's the extent of it... Cant lift my leg above the ground more than 4 CM before feeling pain.... I see my bed in front of me... I am jumping into it... Then.. AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!

________________________

YESSSSSS!!! Or maybe not.... In 2 relationships now... Yaya, I know.... Greedy right??? Also not I want de..... At least for one....

No1
Took the bus for training today... Super sian... Then, suddenly, I saw her of the corner of my eye boarding the bus... I was looking at my phone at that time.... I tried not to look up... But I was seeing at the same time.... I saw her looking at me when she walk closer.... She 'glance' at me when she walked past.... I held my breath.... I breathed in.... LOL, no smell... Zzzz... She sat at the back.... I shifted in my seat.... I fidget...

I closed my eyes.... Should I??? Or should I not??? I sat there pondering.... Slowly but surely, the lower deck of the bus cleared.... There was only the 2 of us left.... YES, ONLY THE 2 OF US... What would you do??? I calmed myself down.... I shouldn't.... I decided.... She has her major exams coming up... I have mine too.... Now's really not a good time.... But I could not make up my mind.... The times I caught her glancing at me, urm, if i am not wrong..... 28 times.... People, it's 28 times.... I checked if there was something on my face... Nope.... Dude, what other possibility was there??? Tell me....

I remembered some words.... If you really like a girl and want her number, just do it.... You never know when you will ever see her again.... I took a deep breath..... It din stink... LOL... I stood up and walked towards her... Btw, she was 'glancing' at me at that time... 29 le oh... I sat beside her.... I took off my earphones.... She took off hers(sounds so wrong...)....

You can do it.... Nigel, GO FOR IT!!!! I opened my mouth.....

Can I have your phone number???(actually I already have... LOL!!!!)

She turn and looked at me and said.................................

To be continued.....

No2
I was on my way home.... It's the school holidays people..... Yay!!! I went home straight.... Surprisingly, no one was at home... Interesting... But I was really tired... I took a bath and went to sleep on my sofa....

Then it rang.... I answered... She offered herself to me.... So willingly.... AT NO PRICE..... She was simply PERFECT.... I had no choice but to accept it..... To be with her now, doing what she wants, it will reap rewards for me.... Especially to get what I want.... I could not resist.... It's free right??? Who dont want???

Days passed and it started to get very tiring.... The demands..... They are killing me..... And furthermore, I have no1 now??? So what to do??? But I also cannot drop no2... Or my life will be destroyed.......

_______________

Oh her eyes, her eyes

Make the stars look like they're not shining
Her hair, her hair
Falls perfectly without her trying

She's so beautiful
And I tell her every day

Yeah I know, I know
When I compliment her
She wont believe me
And its so, its so
Sad to think she don't see what I see

But every time she asks me do I look okay
I say

When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are

AISINI LE!!! My no1...

No2 cannot be dropped... But I want no1 more..... Suggestions????

Oh ya, the no 1 story... I will post it when I have the time..... Suspense........ Walalala...



~~

Day 11

Physics remedial today was so boring... Din understand anything and laboured through the lesson... Most of us was focused on the card game after the lesson... Time past so slowly and finally...

Help Darrell improve his deck and Nigel create his... The LACK of basic cards made it really difficult to make a deck... For Duel Masters, it is a MUST to buy a structure deck first... Simply making a deck out from the booster packs is the no 1 reason for losing...

Of course my good decks won and the lousier ones lost... LOL.. GUYS, I have 12 more at home, you think I noob??? Haha, joking... Was supposed to play soccer but it rained... Furthermore have very little people playing, whole thing cancelled(T_T)

Went Subway for lunch.. Played cards there again... And people were staring at us... Like we hog the seats... Fact was, there were plenty others...

So much more homework to do... Math is halfway only... Haizz.... I think I should......

Back to mugging!!! It's time to hit the books!!! (Lalala)

Have to la... No choice... Tonight have Kim Takgu.... Must watch...

See you soon! Busy so maybe wont post so much.... Why's this a holiday when I'm so busy???


~~

Loneliness...

Yeah... Halfway done chem... But there is remedial tomorrow... Erm, or rather is supplementary.... Ya, I failed... But it seriously is cause is for the whole class... Wonder how many people will not go...

Holidays is always the time that I start to feel lonely... Most of the time alone at home with family... But since we have nothing to talk about, I guess it considers as alone..

Actually want to study, but cant seem to focus... Especially when everyday have my brother asking me to play dota....

Ok... I am bored at home.... Who want come play floorball or go out to study or anything??? Sms or tag:)


~~

Cinderella Man

Holidays have started and I am in no mood.... All I can think now is either studies or floorball... Sadly, I can do neither... Cause I am alone... There's no one at home to accompany me in either.... Loneliness is not a nice feeling... I play floorball against the wall myself in a cramped up space with hell lot of cigarette buds on the floor.... Very dirty and unhygienic... Have to wash the ball after playing everytime....

Just watch Cinderella Man myself... Alone again... It really feels odd to watch a movie myself.... No one to talk to about it... It's a really nice show... Based on a true story about this guy called Jim J Braddock... He's a boxer and the show was about how he fought his way to the top... For the sake of a better life for his family... He initially retired from boxing but was persuaded out of it so as to earn extra income to feed his family...

The championship bout was against the holder of the title, who killed his opponent in the ring by throwing a punch so hard, the opponent died because his brain was detached from its initial position... You can imagine how hard it was... Instead of fearing of facing a similar fate and backing out, he decided to fight... As much as it sounds cliche, he won... But this is not just another film with a happy ending, it was a true story.... It's a nice show, really should watch it...

Seeing Jim fight for something, I started to think what I would fight for??? I dun noe what I would fight for.. I cant think of anything... What would you fight for???

Jim put his life on the line for his family.... What would I put on the line for something???

____________________

I think most of my friends or 'brothers' dont know me well... All think that I cant go out, so few actually ask me that.... Someone said I thought you cant... I really want to know why you think that way... Really... I am curious... Because of all the times that I ask others why I am not asked to go blablabla, they always say "I thought you cant", "I thought you not free"... I am not angry... I JUST want to know why you all think that I can't.... It's not fun to always find out everyone is together outside happily watching movie and I am not asked because "I cant"

What is the reason to make you people think that way???

"Then you wanna go??"

"No"

"You see..."

I really dun get it.... Just tell me the reason.. I really really really really really really really really really really really really want to know...

Then again, I guess it's just my side of the story... Now it's your turn...


~~

Erm...

"To forgive and forget"

Sorry... A bit unstable.. Confused... Thus no link to the posts... Really can think properly....

Breakfast anyone on monday morning at j8??

"Silence is golden"



"Should I or should I not, that is a question"



Someone help me pls???(*_*)

Enough is it...

To whom it may concern,

STOP STOP STOP!!!!!

STOP:

1)STALKING MY BLOG AND OTHER FRIENDS ONE

2)GOING THROUGH MY BOOKMARKS AND FAVOURITES AND LOOKING AT THEM

YOU KEEP ASKING ME TO LEAVE YOU ALONE IN THE COM ROOM WHEN YOU FREAKING USING AND I DID THAT...

I ASK YOU TO GO OUT WHEN I USING YOU FREAKING SAY THAT WHEN YOU ASK ME TO GET OUT I DUN...

STOP UR FREAKING NONSENSE...

YOU WANT PRIVACY I GIVE YOU BUT WHEN I WANT MY OWN, YOU FISHING COME IN AND GUAI LAN ME...

I NEVER IRRITATE U YOU IRRITATE ME FOR WHAT??? Dun test my patience just because I keep quiet...

That's You...

Just The Way You Are - Bruno Mars



I guess that's just the way you are...

Always disappointed in you...

You dont seem to realise, do you???

People always say sorry and say they will change... They feel guilty and treat me well... But only for a while... Then same thing happen again...

It has been like that...

It's still like that...

And I guess it will continue to be like that...

Do you know who you are???



~~

F and B...

I am pissed....

Upset....

Sad

Angry

And many many more.....


I have never meet F****** and B******....

(T_T)

Serenation....

N-Dubz ft. Bodyrox - We Dance On

I am going to persevere... Come on... Come on... Lalala

Hedley - Perfect

Reflect what I really feel now...

Falling a thousand feet per second
You still take me by surprise
I just know we can't be over
I can see it in your eyes
Making every kind of silence
Takes a lot to realize
It's worse to finish than to start all over
And never let it lie
And as long as I can feel you holding on
I won't fall
Even if you said I was wrong

I'm not perfect
But I keep trying
Cause that's what I said
I would do from the start
I'm not alive if I'm lonely
So please don't leave
Was it something I said
Or just my personality

Making every kind of silence
It takes a lot to realize
It's worse to finish than to start all over
And never let it lie
And as long as I can feel you holding on
I won't fall
Even if you said I was wrong

I know that I'm not perfect
But I keep trying
Cause that's what I said
I would do from the start
I'm not alive if I'm lonely
So please don't leave
Was it something I said
Or just my personality

When you're caught in a lie
And you've got nothing to hide
When you've got nowhere to run
And you've got nothing inside
It tears right through me
You thought that you knew me
You thought that you knew

I'm not perfect
But I keep trying
Cause that's what I said
I would do from the start
I'm not alive if I'm lonely
So please don't leave
Was it something I said
Or just my personality

I'm not perfect
But I keep trying
Cause that's what I said
I would do from the start
I'm not alive if I'm lonely
So please don't leave
Was it something I said
Or just my, just my
Self, just myself
Myself, just myself

I'm not perfect
But I keep trying

A Rocket To The Moon - Like We Used To

I am wanting something....

I could feel her breath as she's sleeping next to me
Sharing pillows and cold feet
She can feel my heart; fell asleep to its beat
Under blankets and warm sheets
If only I could be in that bed again
If only it were me instead of him

Does he watch your favorite movies?
Does he hold you when you cry?
Does he let you tell him all your favorite parts?
When you've seen it a million times
Does he sing to all your music?
While you dance to purple rain
Does he do all these things?
Like I used to?

14 months and 7 days ago,
Oh I know you know how we felt about that night
Just your skin against the window
Oh we took it slow and we both know
It shoulda been me inside that car
It should have been me instead of him in the dark

Does he watch your favorite movies?
Does he hold you when you cry?
Does he let you tell him all your favorite parts?
When you've seen it a million times

Does he sing to all your music?
While you dance to purple rain
Does he do all these things?
Like I used to?

I know that love happens all the time, love
(I'm a sucker for that feeling)
You're on my mind, love
(I always end up feeling cheated)
And that happens all the time, love
(Oh darling, I know I'm not needed)

Will he love you like I loved you?
Will he tell you everyday?
Will he make you feel like your invincible
With every word he'll say
Can you promise me that this was right?
Don't throw it all away
Can you do all these things?
Will you do all these things?
Like we used to

Oh like we used to

Damn sad.... I know why but I pretending.... Trying to find another reason...

So I just post some nice songs....

Enjoy...


(T_T)

Day 5 - Fishing....

I am so FISHING PISSED OF

BY

NONE

OTHER THAN....
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MYSELF.....

Failed math test today... 100%.... Din noe how to do....

Or no... Not really.... Is no time to think... Spend like one third of the time blowing my nose.... Thanks to all the girls that kept thinking of me, making me sneeze so much, then my nose become like this...

Ahhhhhh... I keep wanting to study but cant focus because of distractions..... Help me!!!!

"God helps those that help themselves"

I will keep that in mind....

FOCUS!!!! HWAITING!!!!

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Day 4 - Chaos

What is happening to the world now??? While my world is rather quiet, the world outside is in chaos.. Maybe not, some exaggeration there... But still, there are a lot of problems...

I am in particular talking about the floorball team... Ya, maybe I have no rights to comment but still... I always thought it was the most carefree(maybe not now..) cca, everybody all so happy... Then the problems start coming out.. Over something as simple as a dance...

Which brings me to talk about Seh Hian...

He is a good person... One of the first that I knew in my new class... I thought he was a smart boy, always asking questions in class, curious about everything.. I actually admired him for being so active in class, not afraid of asking what he does not know... I started to know more about him...

He was rather 'controlled' by his parents... I sympathised with him... I know how bad it is to not have freedom... He was also particularly poor with girls... Sound as if they all insult him before leaving him... I pitied him, really...

Then, he started to change... I noticed it, the moment he gained his 'freedom'... He was talking in a different tone.. He sort of became a totally changed person... Around that time, he fell out with samuel...

Given freedom, I would say he abused it... I think everyday he went out after school(not sure.. but u get the drift...).. He started taking it for granted... And in the process he changed... Sadly not for the better...

He was given the freedom cause his parents found out how he actually felt... They sort of owned him something for making him feel that way.. So they gave him what he wanted...

It's also around that time when he started his emo period... About girls and friends...

His results started to drop... Not a blip, but a very very big drop... He started failing subjects... This term, he failed already more than 2... That's bad... I din do well this term too, but I noe I can pick myself up and get the A1s and A2s...

But for him is a totally different story... As he went deeper into the abyss, his friends started to give him advice, hoping that it will help him... But no, I think he din listen... In his blog, he said that he was pissed with people that say 'why you so despo blablabla'(I am one of them...)... That really PISSED ME OFF... TOTALLY...

The valuable advice that he have received from everyone... I personally feel if he had listen to every single one of them, he would have become a person idolised and a source of inspiration...

He says he will change... He is trying... Yes, I know how it feels like... But sleeping in class??? Dancing in between lessons??? Is that trying???

Nothing wrong with dancing.. It's ok... But sleeping??? NO!! Absolutely NOT... Maybe you are tired.. You sleep very late it's ok to sleep since you are tired... But sleeping very late, the only good reason is because you are studying... Only then probably can you sleep with a valid reason...
But sleeping in English, Math, Geog and Chem??? Furthermore, the results for these subjects... I should say no further.. We all know...

The last straw with everyone was probably the dance... Backing out less than a week before the performance.... That's rather irresponsible... I dun noe the exact situation... But I think you should explain your reasons and sincerely apologise IF you think u have done wrong... Sort out this misunderstanding(I hope it is...)... I dun want to see the black faces of everyone when we are together...

As someone who wants to pursue dancing and can dance better than the group, leaving that in the lurch is not nice... At all... It does not help that they felt they screwed the dance up for other reasons... You could have helped them in other ways....

Here's the verdict...

Seh Hian, I know you may be sad or crying after reading this post... But this is reality...I am speaking the truth.. I am not insulting you in any ways... It's my true thought....

Everyone opened the door for you, you sort of slammed the door in their faces.... On your blog, you talked about that someone... No matter who he is, I dun think the advice he gave you was LITTLE.... In fact, I would say it's LIFE CHANGING... No advice is insignificant....

You say you have no friends... Fact is, the people giving you the cold shoulder now are your true friends... They want you to reflect upon yourself.... Dont think about what you have done... Instead, think about what you can do...

The doors to my world are opened to everyone, including you, Seh Hian... But the king of this world does not allow people that do nothing about anything of their lives to enter... He instead gladly welcomes people that look forward to their lives, determined to improve every single aspect of it...

On behalf of the many friends that you claim are not, I am giving you this advice....

Open your tagbox and read all the messages left behind, from the people you know to the anonymous people....

The messages are the answers...


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