Boohooo... I am sad.. I dun noe why.. But I just have that feeling of crying... The tears seem to be on the verge of coming out whenever I see something saddening...
Again I question the reliability... The wounds of the previous mistake had not healed.. And it has been opened up forcefully again... I begin to question again... Is it?? Or is it not??? Are they??? Or are they not???
Treatment... How we treat others are how they treat us back... We are treated the way we are deserved to be treated... All those are just theory... Possibly true but very unlikely... Reality just prove everything wrong...
I gave them my heart.. The whole thing... But all I get in return is a slap on my face... I will do this for you, but let me consider first...
Was there supposed to be such a feeling??? If I have extra then I give you... Was there suppose to be such treatment, being given leftovers???
Wasnt there supposed to be no consideration, just the I will do this for you no matter what... Wasnt there supposed to be I will try to fork out the extra money just for you???
What happened??? I am forgotten... One moment he was there, the next he was not...
I realised I am not what I think I am... I was being used... Took me long to realise.... Ranking was high up the hierarchy, treatment received was what I felt he deserved... Maybe he din realise how nice I treat him, how close he was actually to him, and how I actually felt about him despite all the suans and others... But no, he took things for granted and with a mighty kick, pushed me to the bottom....
The treatment I gave him... He did not return... I gave him my heart, he return a knife, asking me to stab myself... What's this??? Can anyone tell me???
Then there is another him... Again on top of the hierarchy, but this time, even better treatment... But maybe I was being used again... This time even more... When he needed or wanted anything, I gave him, with probably no cost at all... Did I hear a thank you?? Maybe there was, but I could not hear it???
He gets the best from me, and then shrugs me off... He has done things in return.. For that, I am appreciative.. Thank you... But, is that all I deserve??? Personally I feel I deserve much more...
Maybe all these are just my one-sided thinking... Maybe I dun treat them as well as I thought I am.... Maybe that is the treatment that I should deservve.... Or maybe, I am even part of their lives...
I am sad.... My advice to everyone just falls on deaf ears... Maybe, I should talk to the wall instead.... Maybe I should not bother about others anymore...
Let people approach me and talk to me... Instead of me starting the conversation... Do you think so Winnie???
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